The only place we can find true and enduring love is within ourselves. Often it can be easier to love others than to love ourselves. The love that you give to others, can you find it for yourself? Are you able to accept yourself as the wonderful, loving being that you are? How can we truly love another if we don't love ourselves? Sometimes we can be unkind and critical of ourselves, however it is the times when we are gentle, compassionate and loving that we find the most joy and fulfillment in life. Let's love ourselves more and increase the joy in the world.

When we find the love within ourselves it naturally flows out from us to others and into the world around us. Do you recognise that feeling of joy and lightness when you fall in love? The world seems brighter and you feel more alive! However falling in love isn't really about the other person, it's about what they evoke within us. The love, joy and feelings we experience belong to us, though they are brought to the fore by our reflection in the other person or through a beautiful landscape or with appreciating the miracles of life.

"If you listen closely, you will discover that romantic love it isn’t where you discover true and lasting love. The kind of love you truly long for is found inside of you as you discover how to meet yourself in our own heart."
Mary O Malley

So how might we gratify our heart's longing for love and acceptance, for each of us the answers will be different. Can we free ourselves to fall in love with our own beautiful selves? Can we be gentle, loving and accepting of who we are (warts 'n all)? What aspects of living might help to evoke these feelings of joy and lightness from within? For me, it's being in nature, sitting quietly to meditate, intimacy with a partner, connecting with close friends, watching a baby and so much more... Every moment offers us the opportunity to open up to love.

From a young age we frequently create stories about how we are not good enough or unlovable. Hollywood and society in general has conditioned us to look for love outside of ourselves in a romantic partner that sweeps us off our feet! And we take on the burden of making ourselves perfect to gain this love. Yet we can never be perfect in that sense, we all have imperfections to help us learn and grow. It's liberating to accept ourselves in our imperfections. Finding the love within helps us to heal ourselves, our relationships and our world.

I often receive synchronicities and messages from the Universe and yesterday I came across a ladybird at an auspicious location. One of the messages of ladybird medicine which felt apt is that "As fear cannot exist amongst joy, the ladybug brings a message of promise, for they get us back in touch with the joy of living – we must let go of our fears and go back to our roots, to love." (www.shamanicjourney.com) Letting go of our fears is a life long journey, though with courage, gentleness and compassion we can find our way back to love.

How can you be more loving, kind and gentle with yourself today? How would it be to love and accept yourself exactly as you are, warts 'n all?

I leave you with a an old classic from three love legends - "'Cause when it's all for one it's one for all"

With love from my heart to yours, may you find your love within,

Fiona

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It's late as I walk homeward by the light of the full moon. My own moontime is nigh and so my sensitivity and vulnerability is prominent. It's been an intense day, with immense sadness and grief. Sadness for what we are doing to Mother Earth, ourselves and all of nature. It began when out for a morning walk and "Farewell to Pripchat", a song by Christy Moore began to play on my ipod shuffle. This song beautifully and poetically tells of the impact of the Chernobyl disaster on the city of Pripyat. This is one of the thousands if not millions of stories relating to the insanity we are creating in the name of power, greed, a sense of safety, convenience and comfort... etc. It feels to me like we have entered a phase of mass extention, including that of our own human species.

Yet death was always inevitable. It begs the question, why are we here? What is our purpose? And I ask you the question "If you knew the world was going to end tomorrow, would you still plant an apple tree?". These chaotic and troubled times offer us great opportunities for growth, understanding and personal development. Rather than deny or avoid the probable unstainability of our current ways of living on the earth, let's embrace and acknowledge it. Work through the feelings we may have around it and find our purpose and heart song on the other side. As the quote here illustrates, maybe we have created the storm for a reason...

For me one of the things that has been really supporting me through this grief is feeling the support of the Earth and her energies beneath me. I know that I am always supported and never truly alone. I know that deep inside myself there is a place where all is in harmony. The world is full of distraction, yet we can always find peace within our own being. “Serenity is not freedom from the storm, but peace amid the storm”. There is a place of pure presence where nothing needs to change. Through exploring, feeling and expressing within the challenges of this life, we locate our strength, we discover the depth of compassion and find love through all things.

The words below speak to me of finding my inner home within...

There are times when I need refuge, I need to focus internally and refuel my reserves. I leave the outer physical world behind and find the sanctuary of the womb again. While the babe is in the womb, it is supported by the energies surrounding it, the warmness and walls of the belly, nourishment through the placenta and underlying universal love. The symbology of the womb is always available to us whatever age and whatever is going on for us. When we pause and reconnect to our inner strength and truth we can re-emerge into the world energised, stronger and wiser. We can find support in one another and in the Universe around us too, as we are all connected.

In her show Wind Resistance, Karine Polwarth expresses many varied themes, one of the underlying themes is that of the symbology of goose skein. A goose skein refers to the way in which geese take it in turns to fly into the wind, reducing the wind impact for those who fly behind by as much as 65%, thus enabling the conservation of energy for those who fly at the rear. In the same way we can find support in one another and the Universe, when the methaphorical winds blow and the wild weather comes.

May we each find our own way home...

With love and blessings from my heart and womb space,

Fiona

Fiona is an Active Listening therapist, reflexologist, Openhand Facilitator and experienced doula. She is passionate about living true to her heart and soul and empowering others to do the same. She runs various workshops related to the vibrancy of conscious plant based eathing and women's issues including being childless/free and loves joining women in circle. Her website is www.fionareilly.co.uk or click here for her facebook page - True Living

There is such liberation and joy in finding one’s own vibration and unleashing it fully in the world. Can you think of a time when you were in touch with and living true to you? A time when you were in your strength and power. What does it feel like? Strong, free, vibrant, playful, joyful, liberating, empowering... these are some of the words that come to mind. Yet for many of us remaining in touch with our own vibe is a challenge. The world is full of distraction and it’s easy to be pulled out into something other than our own truth and beingness.

In our current world there are so many influences that want to make us like everyone else. Ingrained social conditioning places much emphasis on doing and success is often based on things such as material gain and power. From an early age we are given roles that may not necessarily be in our best interest. We are encouraged to behave well, study hard, find a good job and make lots of money and so forth... Society doesn't place much value on being, expressing or creativity just for the sake of it. Our own unique expression and vibration is not widely respected.

However, the full expression of our selves is so inspiring, fulfilling and worthwhile. We don't need others to tell us how to be or what to do, inside we have all our own answers. When we surrender and let go of any external demands, we can find true love and joy. Sometimes there is the temptation to look to the outer world to provide us with solutions and to be a source of our peace and happiness. We may find being true to our own vibe difficult because of insecurities or lack of self worth. We may act in a particular way or compromise our own vibe in order to fit in or feel loved by others. Yet ultimately ease, peace and acceptance needs to come from within. This quote from Mary O Malley's book "What's in the Way is the Way" speaks strongly “No love from outside of you will ever fully satisfy you, because the only way to relieve that longing is to know who you truly are.”

Of course, this does not mean we dismiss the outer world, it is also part of us, it can be a very valuable teacher and massive source of inspiration in our lives. What we see in the outer world is a reflection of our inner world, the external offers us a mirror so that we can see ourselves and feel our own vibe more clearly. Have you ever noticed that when we feel love for someone, we feel it inside of ourselves - the love is in us! As the Dalai Lama once said “The ultimate source of happiness is within us”

So what about the pain and suffering that we experience in the world and within us? It can be beneficial to remember that our soul wants to take us into the places where we get tight, so that we can release the tensions and blockages that restrict us. Working through these distortions paradoxically helps us to get to know ourselves better, to evolve and grow. By confronting and working through these difficult places we come back to our own vibe, stronger and more connected. There appears to be a delicate balance between working through our pain and discomfort and living from a place of joy and lightness.

We are each a unique expression within the Universe and finding our unique vibration is so vital. It’s easy to be swept along by others or identify with our emotions. We are not our emotions, we may feel sad, though we are not sadness. Particularly for empaths or sensitive people this can be challenging, as they tend to feel the energy and emotions of others within their own field. It can take some awareness and experience to recognize when we are identified with something other than ourselves. We can subtly (sometimes not so subtly) sense what another might want or need and align ourselves with another's truth rather than our own. This can happen to such an extent that we are no longer aware of our own vibe.

Some of us have an unhealthy need to maintain harmony, even at the expense of our own truth. Others in order to gain a sense of belonging can mesh or combine their energies with that of a group to the extent that they lose connection with themselves. Awareness of this is a massive key, once we become aware of such patterns playing out in our lives, we have a choice. We can continue to compromise ourselves and blend with others or find new ways of connecting with our own vibration and living our truth. We can chose to find our own way in any moment, we each have a unique path as an expression of the Whole. As the great mystic poet Rumi said "It's your road and yours alone, others may walk it with you, but no one can walk it for you."

Here are some suggestions for ways in which you can attune to your own vibration. Of course each of us is unique and some of these suggestions may resonate and others may not, it is important to explore what feels right for you.

• Watch and notice how you are, what goes on inside of you in the varied situations and circumstances in which you find yourself. Pay particular attention when you are around other people, do you lose your sense of self in particular situations? Become curious about what is happening in your life.
• Find the core of your beingness, it can be really beneficial to breathe down into your belly and feel your power from here (or wherever you feel it inside). It fuels the flames of our fire within.
  
• Find what brings you joy - spend time doing things that bring lightness and ease. Give yourself permission to play, have a bath, an afternoon nap or whatever else nourishes you. Perhaps leave some time aside each week and take yourself on a date, do something inspiring and nourishing for you, visit an art gallery, go out for dinner... etc
• Do what feels right for you, even if it seems like you may disappoint others or not live up to the expectations of society. Express your truth and honour your boundaries!
• Unleash your creativity - dance, sing, write, paint or create whatever floats your boat so to speak
• Spend time in quiet, meditate or go for walks in nature. It's great if you can find time to yourself every day.
• Sometimes you may need significant time on your own and it may be right to withdraw from family and friends for a period of time until you find yourself again.
• Accept and embrace the challenges in your life, work with rather than deny or avoid your pain. By clearing your blockages and tension you gain a deeper connection with your true self.
• Notice signs and synchronicites that may be guiding you, the key is to notice how you feel about them inside.
• Get in touch with your gratitude and appreciate the wonder of the world around you.

Here is an inspirational video to encourage you to find your own vibration and follow your heart.

Best wishes in finding your own vibration, may the journey of exploration bring you to a place of truth and authenticity so that you can feel your power and joy. Your vibe rocks!

With love and blessings,

Fiona

Some related articles for your interest and enjoyment:

• Finding your own truth
• Finding Freedom through lifes struggles
• Perfect exactly as you are

ecRecently I have been valuing the simplicity of being curious. By being curious I mean actively engaging with our innate enthusiasm for wonder, discovery and learning. It includes seeing and appreciating the magic and miracles that continually surround us. Just consider how a young child engages with their surroundings and how absorbed they are in life and discovering more about themselves and the world in which they find themselves. Curiosity is a process of enquiry and a continuous exploration.

Curiosity requires self awareness and noticing what is happening in any given moment. It involves letting go of fixed ideas and opening up to new possibilities and understandings about ones self and the nature of existence. It is relatively easy to be curious about the aspects of life that inspire us, bring us joy and ignite our passions. The invitation is also to be curious about that which causes us pain, discomfort and apparent suffering. For instance if I feel angry, can I notice what happens in my body, what are my triggers, is there a root cause underlying the angry feelings? and so on.

Our views of the world can become quite static. The perspectives we hold are influenced by a variety of filters that we see through, these develop over time, as a result of social conditioning and previous experiences. It's awesome when we can recognise these filters and see things from a new perspective. Let me give you an example of someone whose father left when they were young and now they (usually subconsciously) expect that all men will leave and abandon them. This may be a real experience for them though it is not necessarily true.

Curiosity invites us to think outside of the box and challenge our habitual ways of thinking. It is a driving force for learning, development and change. When we become curious about something it encourages us to let go of any certainty and absolutes we may hold and be open to new alternatives. In the example above of the person who expected to be abandoned by men, becoming curious opens to the possibility that perhaps some men do stay and even if they do leave, that's okay. She can look for alternatives to her currently held beliefs and open to new opportunities. Perhaps she can uncover the root cause of her belief system and heal aspects of the trauma that she experienced as a child.

We create what we expect in the world, so by letting go of expectations and becoming more open, we allow new possibilities to emerge. The Universal life energy, God, Source or whatever you may like to call it, is profoundly intelligent and we can attune to this energy in our daily lives. It is infinitely wiser than our limited minds, yet we can use our minds to tap into this intelligence. We can ask the Universe to "Show us" in relation to a question we might hold and remain curious about the signs and messages we receive in the world around us in response to our question. We can also observe how we react internally to what we notice and experience.

Being curious about the situations we find ourselves in helps to remove any extra energy from a situation. It means we no longer need to change it or fix it or blame something or someone. From this perspective there are no mistakes, just opportunities to learn and grow. It enables us to accept things exactly as they are and explore why we may have drawn these circumstances into our lives. It encourages acceptance, though not blind acceptance of anything goes. Rather an acceptance that this is how things are, along with a curiosity as to what are the next steps to take, where do we go from here? From the place of curiosity and wonder we may gain insight into why we feel as we do and find ways to move forward.

There is immense value in asking questions and finding our own truths. Do you consider what ingredients are in your food or where it has come from? What about how you feel after you have participated in a particular activity, maybe watching tv or going for a walk in nature? Which people enhance your life and who do you want to spend time with? Such enquiries can help us find a more aligned way of living and being. They can assist us in breaking free of old ways of behaving that no longer serve us and in finding new enriching and empowering ways of being.

A continual process of enquiry encourages us to live our truth and find increasing joy and freedom in our lives. Open of Openhand uses the phrase "constant conscious choice" in relation to how we meet situations and choices that arise in our lives. Making constant conscious choices encourages us to remain aware and watchful of the choices that present to us and choose from the most aligned place.

Another gift of curiosity is that it invites us to see the beauty and magic that is all around us. Have you ever become curious about a blade of grass or the clouds in the sky? Such considerations fill one with wonder and delight at the miraculous nature of life. It fills our hearts with lightness, gratitude and joy to recognize the miracles that abound in our world.

Thanks for your curiosity and taking the time to read this article, if you continue to engage with your curiosity, you change your world.

With love and blessings, Fiona

Each and every one of us is beautiful and magnificent exactly as we are. By simply being our true selves our unique and exquisite light shines. Yet, so many of us are disconnected from this truth, we feel inadequate and less than. So many of us want to fit in, to be like others, to be accepted. Yet what matters is being who we truly are and expressing our unique authentic beingness - how joyful and liberating is that! In the world we currently live in being our true selves is not always easy or straightforward...

Theodore Roosevelt once said that "Comparison is the thief of joy". When we compare ourselves or our achievements to others, we make one thing more and something else less than. Many years ago I was comparing myself to someone vibrant and gregarious, and feeling less than in comparison. A wise and dear friend used the analogy of different types of tea cups. She explained that while I might resemble one of those delicate and ornate china cups, the other person was more like a large, beautifully crafted pottery mug. Both these cups are beautiful, yet totally different. This analogy really helped me to see the uniqueness and splendor in each and every one of us.

If I may continue with another tea related analogy, we all are drawn to particular tea cups and tea flavours that we enjoy. In a similar way we are drawn to particular people with whom we resonate, and particular people are drawn to us. We are not everyone's cup of tea and that's absolutely okay. Be exactly who we are and we will draw exactly the right people to us. No matter how wonderful or inspiring or apparently "perfect" we are, there will always be people who don't resonate with our vibe nor even particularly like us - and that is okay! I will reiterate - If we can just simply be who we are, we will draw the right people to us.

We are each a unique expression of the Oneness of all Life, and as a unique expression we have our own gifts and beauty. Others are different from us. We will resonate more with some people than others and there will be people who challenge us and push our buttons and that's okay. These people are a gift in our lives too, they invite us to look inside at what is challenging us and encourage us to work on our own distortions and blockages. So many of us experience a need to be liked by others, that somehow validates us and makes us okay. Yet it is vital that we find a sense of being whole and complete, of being loved from within.

We live in a world that places value on certain characteristics, such as achievements, efficiency, cleverness... etc. This can drive competition. Alternatively, if we trust and feel confident within ourselves, it doesn't matter what is happening with others around us. We find the joy in our unique expression. I love being part of a supportive doula network where we encourage and inspire one another. When I go and meet a potential client I encourage them to meet other doulas, as I know that it is so important to find the right person to work with. Working in this way is so refreshing and liberating.

I find this video really inspiring where Colbie Caillat, tired of being photoshopped and turned into something "perfect", makes a point about our natural beauty and the things we do so that people like us... Hope you enjoy it as much as I do. Ultimately it comes down to do you like you? Can you love yourself and embrace who you are exactly as you are, warts and all? If you like you then you don't care what others think or feel about you, it simply doesn't matter. This doesn't mean that you don't consider others or that you are superior, you just are magnificent you.

You don't have to try so hard or change a single thing, you are wonderful, beautiful and perfect just as you are (including your imperfections - and we all have them). I leave you with the words of Cyndi Lauper...

Related article - Alone or All One