It's wonderful to hear, see and feel the heightened awareness of climate and pollution issues over the past few months (at least here in the UK). Thanks to David Attenborough everyone is aware of the plastic issue and changes are being implemeted at a goverment, local and personal level. The Extinction Rebellion is an awesome movement that is highlighting awareness of some crucial issues. Gretna Thunberg, the Swedish teenager is inspiring young and old with her passionate pleas. There is a lot to celebrate and be grateful for! While life on Gaia is in seriously threatened, it is wonderful to see people's concern coming to the fore and changes being implemented.

Sometimes we may feel deep sadness as a result of the devastation that is happening on Gaia. We may feel despondant and hopeless at the level of destruction and greed that continues to escalate. Or we may feel overwhelmed, powerless and frustrated. Yet, there is so much beauty and magic in our world, so much to appreciate. While it's important to process fear, anger or other associated feelings that may arise as a result of the current chaos, we need to find a balance as opposed to getting lost in the despair and negativity. It can be helpful to find and focus on the positive elements too.

We don't need to do everything or feel overwhelmed by the enormity of the situation, rather implement the things that feel most important to us. Make one little choice in this moment, take one step at a time. Perhaps the biggest contribution we can make is to reduce consumption, though this article isn't for suggesting what to do, there's plenty of information to be found about that. It's about encouraging us to feel into our own hearts and make conscious choices in how we live our lives and celebrate the positive impact we can achieve. Living from our hearts we shine a light that brightens up the whole world.

The Universee often guides me to relevant material when I am writing something and today I came across this quote in an article by Mary O Malley that seemed apt "You are a necessary and unique expression of life. In this time of chaos on this planet, one of the most powerful things you can do to become a healing presence is to know that you are essential and needed. Or, as Eckart Tolle once said, “You are here to enable the divine purpose of the universe to unfold. That is how important you are.”" Thank you for being here and contributing your unique and beautiful self to the world.

Gratitude has been shown to be corelated to joy. Let's be grateful for all the positive things that are happening all around us every day. A friend sent me this quote by an unknown author -

"To the person who uses metal straws to save fish, but comsumes animals, I'd like to say thank you. To the vegan who isn't aware of our homelessness problem, thank you. To the climate change activists who aren't attentive to fast fashion, thank you. To the girl who gives her old clothes to the disadvantaged but isn't educated on sex trafficking, thank you. To the guy who picks up rubbish on his way home from a surf but isn't well-informed about male suicide rates, thank you.

To the grandparents who knit socks for sick children but aren't up to date with current race and homophobic issues, thank you. To the students that stand up for bullying but are unaware of the constant domestic violence epidemie, thank you. To the peace activists, feminists, stray dog adopters, teachers, volunteers, foster carers, recyclers, givers, doers and believers, I say thank you. We are all on a different path and we all see through different eyes. Current world issues that you are passionate about, aren't always what other people are trying to change... and that's okay. It's not everyone's job to save every part of the world but it it everyone's responsibility to thank every person who is doing THEIR part to save the world. Don't criticize, just appreciate. Don't judge, just educate. We are all trying our best. Thank you."

A heartfelt thank you to everyone who is making a positive contribution to life, no matter how small that contribution may seem. If you haven't already heard the inspirational story of the little boy saving starfish, you can read it here in an article about how to best be of service. Jaya Bhagavan, has been translated as "Hail God" or "Victory to God". Recently my friend Jane shared how she sees "Jaya Bhagavan" as a prayer of gratitude or appreciation for the "God" within everything. We can contemplate on all that we appreciate in this precious life. Jaya trees, Jaya friends, Jaya bees, Jaya river... Here is a beautiful rendetion of Jaya Bhagavan to touch your heart. I offer it here as a prayer of gratitude...

With gratitude for what you do to take care of our precious Gaia and the sentient beings that are here, Fiona

The gift of being heard is something really precious. Having someone listen attentively to our expression or story is very healing and can enable us find our own understanding, acceptance, balance and joy again. Listening sounds like a very simple thing and indeed it is, yet many of us struggle to listen effectively. Being a good listener requires being present and fully attentive to the other. It is not about offering advice or fixing anything or making the other feel better, it's simply being there and paying attention.

So how might we listen more effectively... there are many things that can help! Below I outline four suggestions that I have found to be fundamental to good listening.

Be Present - Initially, it is vital to be present and with the speaker, to give them our full attention. If possible find a quiet place for a listening exchange where you are unlikely to be disturbed. Turn off phones and any background noise. Honour your boundaries, if you feel you only have 20 minutes to listen, say so at the beginning so the boundaries are clear or explain that now is a not a good time and arrange to connect when the time is right. To the best of your ability come from a place of acceptance and compassion and avoid judgement of them or their story. Be fully attentive to them and the energy between you.

Simply listen - Many of us want to try to fix and make things better for the other person, yet the most beneficial way is for them to work through whatever is arising and to find their own solutions. The way to help someone feel better is to encourage them to be with their pain or confusion or whatever their experience is, to explore it and then they may feel empowered to move through it. Telling someone they need to be strong or things will get better or something similar isn't effective longterm and can be disempowering. So try not to fix the situation or offer solutions unless they are invited. When listening our purpose isn't to make a person feel better, simply by having their experiences heard in a non-judgemental and accepting way can allow things to shift and heal.

Focus on the speakers perspective - while it's useful to be able to identify with their experience, telling someone of your similar experience is not usually helpful, so try not to habitually compare their situation to one that you have experienced. It is of course fine if you are having a two way conversation, however if you want to encourage a person to explore their experience, your story isn't what they need to hear, at least not until they have worked through their own stuff. It can take from what the speaker is saying and turns the attention away from them. Occasionally it may be appropriate to share your own experience, use your intuition on when that feels right. You could check with the speaker if they'd like you to share what happened to you, though mostly I find it best to stay with what the speaker is sharing.

In order to acknowledge their experience and what they have shared, you can reflect back to them what you heard them say, for example "You felt very angry when that happened". Such a reflection does a number of things, it shows that you are listening, that their feelings or expressions are valid and enables them to go into more depth around the issues. In focussing on the other person you may notice the subtleties of body language, tone of voice... etc which can sometimes indicate more than their words and again if appropriate you can reflect back what you notice.

Don't engage in a drama or exaggerate the situation, sometimes what is being shared may arise feelings in you, acknowledge these internally though put them aside you can always return to explore them yourself at a more appropriate time.

Become comfortable with silences - For many silences or gaps in conversation cause discomfort and they rush to fill the quietness with something. However allowing a silence lets the speaker know that you are there for them and ready to listen when they are ready to speak. Speaking in order to break a silence usually ends up in directing the speaker in a different direction, than what may have otherwise arose next. If you do feel to ask questions, do so for clarity and understanding. The facts or details usually don't matter. If you do feel to ask questions try to keep them open ended, you could you phrases like "How was that for you?" to encourage more disclosure or as I mentioned earlier reflect back what you have just heard.

Acknowledging pain

This is an excellent video relating to how to support a grieving friend and the principles offered could be used with other challenging situations, not only grief. The way to help someone feel better is to encourage them to be with their pain, to explore and accept it and then they may feel empowered to move through it.

Here's one more quote and a sweet cartoon by lunar baboon that illustrates what the value of letting go of the need to do anything and simply listen.

With loving gratitude for all those who have shown me how to listen well and for my continued learning. I wish you well with your listening explorations,

Fiona

Related Articles
5 Strategies for Heartfull communication
Maintaining Healthy Boundaries when being of Service
Attuning to the Flow Of the Universe

A truly inspiring law is to be passed in Bolivia giving Mother Earth and nature equal rights to humans, with Bolivia's rich natural resources recognized as blessings.  What wonderful, positive news. The new law states: "She is sacred, fertile and the source of life that feeds and cares for all living beings in her womb. She is in permanent balance, harmony and communication with the cosmos. She is comprised of all ecosystems and living beings, and their self-organisation"  Amen!
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The laws for Mother Earth include

• The right to life and to exist 
• The right to continue vital cycles and processes free from human alteration
• The right to pure water and clean air
• The right to balance
• The right not to be polluted
• The right to not have cellular structure modified or genetically altered
• The right to not be affected by mega-infrastructure and development projects that affect the balance of ecosystems and the local inhabitant communities

This is a radical departure from the norm and highlights the compassion and kindness that exists for our beautiful Earth.

The question I ask is how can we live this respect in our everyday lives.  How can we be the change.  I suggest 5 simple things that could potentially make a huge difference to our Earth and our evolution as individual souls:

1. Connect with Mother Earth.  Spend quiet time in nature connecting with Gaia in all her splendor.  Listen to the birds sing, smell the fragrant scent of a flower or notice the spectacular colors all around.  Notice how these things make you feel and bring gratitude to your heart.  Gardening and growing plants and vegetables is a beautiful way to connect more with nature and appreciate her magical bounty.
2. Consume less Most of us in the Western world consume much more than we actually need to.  I encourage more conscious choices about what we purchase and use.  There is much value in the term "Reduce, Re-use, Recycle" and contemplating what that means in your life.  This also includes using resources less, for example, gas or oil for central heating, perhaps the heating could be turned down a few degrees and an extra layer worn.
3. Be mindful about the food we eat Ideally grow your own food, even without a garden, there is lots of potential for growing food.  Find local, organic food that is free from chemicals and pesticides.  There is possibly a local market or veggie box scheme in your area, I have found these to be a fantastic resource.  Follow a plant based diet, this is much more compassionate to Mother Earth and all sentient life for lots of reasons. Read my blog about following a vegan diet for further information.  Also try to buy food that is free from plastic packaging.
4. Transport Avoid unnecessary journeys, use public transport and if you can avoid flying.  I like to walk or cycle shorter journeys, it's good exercise and gives me time to unwind.
5. Use natural household products When you need to, use natural beauty and cleaning products around the home. 

These are suggestions, I encourage you to contemplate what feels right for you and how you can be more aware of the rights of Mother Earth and all sentient life.  

Thank you for the reading, with blessings and gratitude, Fiona

How we communicate with each other and the world around us is hugely significant. When we can effectively communicate and lovingly express what we feel to, it can have an extremely positive impact on our wellbeing and on those we interact with.  Expressing ourselves and our truth is a vital element of life and can help us to discover, learn and grow.  In fact it has the power to change the world! 

In contrast when we don't express ourselves it can cause tightness, disharmony and build resentments. When we courageously embrace the vulnerability and risk in sharing from the heart, the rewards and potential for increased feelings of connectedness and intimacy are great.  In this article I suggest 5 strategies that can help us in communicating more effectively:

1. Be open and honest  - It is vital that we are as open and honest as we can be.  It can often be very challenging to be truly open and honest, even with ourselves.  I sometimes find that I am not even clear about how I am feeling within or what I need to express, when this happens a useful starting point can be to express that I am uncertain as to how I feel and this can then evolve and assist in bringing clarity. 

An important component of good communication is discerning what is appropriate to share, when and how.  Sometimes we hold back because we are afraid of hurting the other persons feelings or that they won't like what we have to say. While it is important to be respectful and honour the other, it is also important that we express what we need to.  It can take a lot of courage to express something that feels sensitive with another.  I know when someone expresses something to me with honesty and integrity, even though I may not like it or find it challenging, I am generally grateful for their sharing. Such openness and honesty can enhance trust and deepen relationships. Each situation is unique and we need to feel what is right in the moment.


2. Truly listen  - to truly listen we need to be attentive and focused on what the other person is communicating.  This can be difficult to achieve, especially in the fast paced, distraction-full world that we live.  Can we truly listen without interrupting or changing the focus even when we feel uncomfortable? Many years ago when I did some counselling training, we participated in some exercises on active listening, I like many others in the group was surprised at how rarely we seemed to truly listen. I invite you to watch yourself and see how well you listen.

When engaged in a conversation we are often not fully present to the other, we may be thinking about our own response, what we will have for dinner or some other external distraction.  When we can be present and fully engaged with the other it enables us to empathize much more effectively and allows them to truly feel heard.  Such deep listening can be very healing and support another immensely.  Another key aid to powerful engagement is to become comfortable with silences and let go of any need to rush in and fill gaps in conversation.  


3. Take responsibility - We are each responsible for our feelings and emotions and have created the circumstances in which we find ourselves. I have found it invaluable to be mindful about how I express to others and  take responsibility for my own feelings.  So for example, rather than stating "You made me so angry when you..." saying "I felt very angry when that happened..." can be so beneficial.  It means that the listener is less likely to feel blamed or become defensive allowing the communication channels to remain open and flowing.  

Be clear about what you communicate and ensure you understand what the other person is communicating.  It is great to ask for clarity if you are unsure. It is important to find the right time and place for exchanges to take place.  If my emotions are high, I find a conversation is best postponed until I am feeling calmer and more balanced.  Additionally it is beneficial to avoid distractions, such as mobile phones.


4. Observe what is happening in your body and emotional field, as well as what is happening with those you are communicating with.  I often notice that my body can give me clues as to what is really going on, even if my mind might suggest otherwise.  For example, if I am saying something that is not quite aligned and simultaneously notice that my solar plexus or gut tightens, I recognise that there is an incongruence and see this as an invitation to explore deeper what might be happening in that moment. 

You can also monitor what is happening with the other person and the energy field around you both.  Often when we pay attention, we will notice nonverbal cues that can indicate much more than the words spoken.  It is suggested (ref wikipedia) that two thirds of what we communicate is nonverbal.  I had an example of this when engaging with a woman who was talking about difficulties with her husband and she unconsciously kept fiddling with and removing her wedding ring.


5. Watch and catch yourself  - We often react from well established patterns or ways of behaving or through a distortion.  Some of the patterns I have identified in myself include a need to be right or taking issues as a personal attack.  If I can catch when I am reacting from a pattern and admit it e.g. "I am being reactive just now" or "This is reminding me of how I interacted with my mother", it changes the energy immediately and I find things lose their previous tight grip.  It also means that we are being more transparent for the other person and they can identify with us more readily.  Recognizing such patterns offers a wonderful opportunity to explore deeper what might be at the root of what is going on.

We all have certain prejudices about the world and other people that can be subtle and almost automatic. For example, we may feel that we know more than the other or that they know more than us.  It is invaluable if we can catch and explore these judgements, so that we can dissolve them and become more open to what the other person is saying, especially if it doesn't match with our own world view.  Such rich engagements open us up to different ideas and options, and offer us a wonderful mirror to see the world differently.

Since I began to follow a compassionate vegan diet 10 years ago a lot has changed. There has been a 360% increase in the number of people following a vegan diet in the UK. Awareness and understanding have increased greatly in society making life much easier for those of us who choice this way of living, around half a million people in the UK alone.

Though there are people who continue to ask me with a doubting glance and lowered eyebrow, how is it being a vegan and comment on how difficult it must be. For me it's not at all difficult, okay sometimes it might be challenging to find food when out and about, particularly when I additionally tend to eat organic foods and avoid gluten and refined sugar. Though on the whole I am delighted to follow a compassionate, plantbased diet and can't imagine ever changing it. The cartoon below humorously exaggerates some of the extreme reactions people sometimes have about veganism :)

My reasons for this lifestylce choice are varied and complex.  So I have decided to break it down and summarize some of my primary motivations.

1. Ultimately because it feels good and right for me (OK that's a bit of a vague statement, but it's true!)
2. For my health and well being.  I feel that following a plant based diet is far healthier than eating meat and animal products.  
3. For the well being of all life.  Many millions of animals are unnecessarily treated horrendously in order to provide food for us.  Even organic free range eggs come at a huge cost, with male chicks mostly being killed at birth. 
4. Additionally when an animal is killed it is stressed and it's energy field is full of fear,  it is likely that this negative energy remains in the meat and as a result we absorb some of this energy when we eat it.   
5. I love food that is fresh and vibrant, and so I delight in eating fresh, organic fruit and veg.
6. We all know that the earth's resources are dwindling at a very fast rate. The production of meat is one of the biggest contributors to the destruction of rainforests and a huge contributor to climate change.  The difference in the amount of land required to provide meat for human consumption compared to the amount required to provide for vegetables is hugely significant.  
7. I have developed an intolerance to dairy and wheat since changing what I eat.   
8. Vegan food can taste absolutely delicious and I can easily have a varied and balanced diet. Trinity of Trinity's Conscious Kitchen is my greatest inspiration for nutritious and truly awesome recipes.
9. Science seems to indicate that the human is designed to be herbivore rather than carnivore.  Some of the facts are explained by the Pig in the video.

Below are 27 vegan myths, for more information follow this link 

 1 Humans are naturally omnivorous so they shouldn’t be vegan 
 2 We’ve evolved eating meat so it’s best for our bodies 
 3 Our bodies optimally digest meat 
 4 Some blood types need meat 
 5 Vegan diets don’t supply enough protein 
 6 Only animal products supply complete proteins 
 7 Tofu is the only complete vegan protein 
 8 You need to combine different plant foods to get a complete protein 
 9 Our bodies need protein for glycolysis to convert into ATP 
10 Milk products are healthy 
11 Being vegan doesn’t supply enough calcium 
12 Vegan diets aren’t healthy 
13 Vegans have too many rules about what they can eat 
14 Everything is good for you in small amounts 
15 Vegan men are weak and impotent 
16 Vegans don’t get enough iron 
17 Vegans easily get b12 deficiencies 
18 You’ll eat nothing but carrots, celery & lettuce 
19 Vegan food isn’t gourmet or interesting 
20 Vegetables don’t taste good 
21 Being a vegan will ruin your social life 
22 Eating a vegan diet is very expensive 
23 Being vegan isn’t better for the environment 
24 Being a vegan is less sustainable than being a local eating omnivore  
25 Fruits have too much sugar and should be used in moderation 
26 Plants feel pain too 
27 You still have to kill a plant to eat it so it’s essentially non-different 


I'd love to hear from you if you have any further comments or questions.


Namaste, Fiona